You've heard the saying - only a surfer knows the feeling. It's true, right?
There are few things on this planet that are as addictive as surfing. Well, legal things anyway.
How many of these symptoms sound familiar to you? Read on...
Nothing Is More Important Than Getting In The Sea
It's 3-4ft, clean offshore and the tides are just right - nothing is more important than getting in the sea.
You'll sack off anything just to get a couple of waves squeezed in - even your Grandma's 90th birthday (harsh but don't tell me the thought hasn't crossed your mind...)
If you don't, you'll be left whimpering in the corner, constantly clicking refresh on Magic Seaweed.
You Suffer From 'Just One More Wave'
You catch a perfect glassy peeler and pop nicely off the end. It's time to go in. But you can't help it. 'Just one more wave,' you say to yourself.
Three hours later - you come home to an angry spouse and a cold dinner, but at least you caught those last... erm.... seven waves.
You Start To Go Crazy When It's Been Flat For Over 48 Hours
There's nothing. Not a sight of swell on the charts for days.
You start getting antsy. You've cleaned your apartment, rewaxed your board, watched every surf video on the internet.... NOW WHAT?
Never fear. The surf will come back eventually. In the meantime, go to the pub and chill out man.
You've Always Got Magic Seaweed Open At Work
Tucked behind those boring spreadsheets, Magic Seaweed will always be lurking.
You couldn't possibly spend a whole day at work without checking the surf report.
You have mastered the quick 'click minimise' response when your boss is hanging over your shoulder.
Bunking Off Work Becomes A Definite Possibility
You're a good employee. You always turn up to work on time. You even laugh at your boss's terrible jokes when she corners you next to the water cooler.
So when Magic Seaweed is showing five stars and the surf is only working bang in the middle of your busy Wednesday, you are seriously tempted to bunk off work.
Surely four foot, offshore is a legitimate excuse to pull a sickie, right?
You Wear Bikinis More Than Bras
Your go-to underwear in the morning is always a bikini, because it's just more practical right?
Bikins tops are waaay comfier and it will save time when you're rushing to catch the waves at low tide.
Plus it's makes you feel like a surfing superhero, hiding your true identity under your clothes at work.
You Neglect Your Partner In Favour Of Surf
Unless your partner is also a surfer, there's a large chance surfing will be a point of contention with your other half.
It's perfect conditions - and they want to go see a movie. You want to go for a 5am dawnie and they've been looking forward to a cosy lie-in together all week.
Inevitably the surf always wins, but make sure you treat 'em nice and bring them breakfast in bed the next day, OK?
Everything You Own Is Filled With Sand
Your car, your hair, your shoes.... Those little grains somehow manage to work their way into your bed as well.
For some people, this might drive them totally mad. But you don't mind - it's part of being a surfer, right?
You'll Drive Epic Distances Just To Catch One Wave
It doesn't matter how far away you live from the sea - if it's pumping and you've got time off work, you'll get there.
Even if it means catching a train, a bus and then hitchhiking off the motorway, you will make it in.
And the irony of it all? You might just catch one or two waves - but it's always worth it.
You Spend All Your Time Looking At New Gear
.... Even though your bank balance looks like you've been robbed (you haven't, you just spent it all on a brand new longboard)
Whether it's a new wetsuit, a neon leash or another longboard to add to your ever-growing collection, you can't help but keep putting items in your online shopping basket.
Only to realise you'd probably have to remortgage your house to pay for it all *cries inside*