What kind of festival person are you?
Do you like to hang around camp until 4pm, or are out at first light to catch the lunchtime acts?
Is it all about drinks in the field after the headliners with your buddies, or are we more likely to see your rolling out of the dance tent at dawn?
Every single festival we go to, we always see the same types of partygoers year on year out.
We've been trying to figure out which one of these gangs we all belong to!
P.S. The amazing graphics were drawn by our friend Skye Jackson
The Trend Followers
These are the girls who were dressing in cheesecloth maxi skirts and coin belts with Sienna Miller haircuts and feathers back in 2004.
Now the festival trendys opt instead for the high waisted hotpant, designed to look like a pair of Levi shorts rolled up a couple too many times and showing just the right amount of bum.
Hotpants will be teamed with an American Apparel backless body, carefully applied glitter around the eyes, kimono and the obligatory flower crown.
They have an outfit for every day and actually remember to redo their makeup. They never seem to look dirty….
This girl is here to party.
From 10am Thursday, she will be party ready with full glitter face paint, dressed in a high shine unitard and high tops.
Usually seen in the 4am disco with her vintage patchwork bomber jacket tied around her waist, wearing a snapback she nicked off someone earlier in the night and has forgot she’s still got on.
She will be asleep in the beer tent tomorrow morning while the folk bands are on, she will be no less glittery....
You will look at these girl's beaded dreads all weekend with envy before getting home, having that first shower and being super grateful for your own clean and deknotted do.
These girls will be found lazing around their camp all day on mandala print blankets wearing low slung harem pants and teeny weeny croptops.
At 7pm they’ll add some rhinestones around their eyes, before putting the rest in their hemp bumbag for late night touch ups and heading off to get their skank on.
These guys are usually celebrating a hen or stag do, a significant birthday or the opportunity to get a big group of old uni mates together.
Their camp will have a gazebo in the middle, at least one disposable BBQ and a cool box for beer.
The fancy dress theme will be carefully designed to give everyone the option between putting in effort or buying a onesie from Primark.
You will see packs of tigers, monkeys and smurfs wandering around the site in growing states of disrepair as the weekend goes on.
They’ll be annoying at 7am when their party is still going strong, but will always be good bet to borrow plastic cups from….
Brave choice, my loved up festival friends!
Sure, a festival seems like an awesome date- but have you ever smelt someone after they’ve been sleeping in the same outfit, next to a puddle of rum, in a field for a few days?
These guys will have played it pretty safe outfit wise, with pretty dresses and wellies (as well as a whole bunch of body wipes and mouthwash.)
They’ll be the ones annoying you in the main crowd by standing perfectly still holding onto each other and making out.
Urgh, you’re so happy…
The Drunk Teenagers
It’s their first festival and probably their first holiday away from the ‘rents.
You can tell because its 11am on the first day and they’re all stumbling around shouting about how they’ve drank all their Kopparbergs already and whether they know anyone with an over 18 wristband to buy booze in the arena.
The girls will be suitably badass, rocking band t shirts and New Look cut-offs.
(All teamed with the brand new Doc Martins they convinced their mum to get because they needed ‘sturdy’ shoes for the weekend….)
The Middle Class Family
Look over there, by the Moroccan Tagine tent, it’s the young, cool family!
Mum and Dad used to go to Glasto with their mates a few years ago and spend all night at the new acts stage, before passing out together holding a can of cider in the field and dragging themselves back to camp.
Now they don their hunter wellies and spend all day at the theatre stage and kids zone.
All before taking the kids to try Indonesian vegan cuisine, watching the headliners and all going back to their teepee for bedtime stories...
An ever rarer breed, festival rockers are becoming few and far between.
You’ll see the rocker girl right at the front of main stage. Her outfit screams a mix of old rock, British punk and Vivienne Westwood’s 80’s style.
Dirty denim, black leather and black eyeliner, she says she’s waiting for Tool’s set.
Secretly, she’s pretty pleased to have caught the end of Kitty, Daisy And Lewis…