You fantasise about the wonderful break from the rigours of parenting. “Imagine all those like minded kids they can make friends with,” you dream, “we won’t see them for days”.

Your child and their perfect holiday companion will spend five days walking slowly past each other’s tent, looking furtively at each other.

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That is until you finally give in and force them to introduce themselves during your last day on camp.

They will be inseparable best friends as you pack you gear away quietly seething.